Conspiracy Theory Tuesday - Rudy Giuliani and Blue Denim
Over in the DILBERT BLOG written by cartoonist Scott Adams, his daily post is covering conspiracy theories…some he’s heard, some he made up. His made-up theory of the day is that Rudy Giuliani orchestrated 9/11 as part of a mad plan to run for president. Other theories he discusses include three major underwater Internet cables being cut accidentally at the same time…and how they were coincidentally Iraq and Iran’s Internet cables — the theory? Christian backed armies are getting ready to rain down a new Crusade on Islam, and they started by cutting off communications via the net.
I have one of my own. I actually wrote this theory into the screenplay Trish and I wrote together many years ago, “Pickadilly,” which is about a homeless woman who finds a magic amulet that lets her talk to cats. She doesn’t really WANT to talk to cats, and the problem with it is - when she is talking to cats, everyone else hears her making odd cat noises…but that’s not the point.
There is a prophet in the screenplay who proclaims loudly that the blue dye in denim fabric is a mind-control drug. Here is a snippet from the screenplay for fun and giggles.
EXT. STREET CORNER - DAY
A man, PORKY, is standing on a soap box, crying out to the crowd as they pass. He is fat. The crate bows and creaks under his weight as he flails his arms about. His clothing is in tatters. His hair is long and waves in the breeze. The passersby ignore him, for the most part. Those who stop to stare are either shocked or amused.
PORKY
I’m telling you, folks, they are everywhere. Aliens. They tell you it’s communists, I tell you aliens. They have plots ladies and gentlemen.They have an agenda!
He turns to watch as a young man in faded jeans and a black concert t-shirt walks by. His stare causes the youth to hurry his steps, and Porky cackles with glee.
PORKY
You see! You see! It is in the dye my friends, the blue dye. The dye they use in denim. Think about it. Think hard. The more faded the jeans, the more faded the mind. It is a drug, ladies and gents, a drug to control your minds.
The squeaking of the wheels on PICADILLY’S cart announce her entrance before she comes into view around the corner of a building. She stops when she sees Porky standing on his box and expounding his “theories”, then moves forward again. Harvey has turned to watch Porky as well, as though the man’s words have caught his interest.
Porky nods to Picadilly, acknowledging her presence, but he doesn’t stop his speech.
PORKY
Denim is not all, folks. There are many, many drugs at work — forces you can barely conceive. Your feet. Dancing about precariously, Porky holds up one foot to show that he has no sock on under his shoe. Then he holds up the other foot — there is a sock. He grins, as if in triumph.
PORKY
How important are your feet? How would you walk, run, ride a bicycle…how would you drive? You wouldn’t, you couldn’t, you won’t. Not unless you pay attention. Not unless you hear. They are stealing our socks. Not all at once, mind you, but one at a time — insidiously. They want our feet cold, ladies and gentlemen,they want our feet weak!
BEWARE BLUE DYE! GUARD YOUR SOCKS!
–DNW
